Hair Post - december

JC of The Natural Haven put up a post http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2011/12/are-you-happy-with-your-hair.html#comment-form asking if readers were happy with their hair. She gave us 4 questions to answer which I really liked 'cos it forces me to review my hair journey so far. Here goes

1. Your texture - It's alright I guess. I don't think I am in love with it. I have Nigerian hair. It is 4b or a...not sure, fine strands. Wish my hair was mega thick and not so wiry. However, in it's natural state it is thicker than when straight so happy with that part. Always had to keep bumping my hair when straight so it won't look so flat against my scalp.

2. Your products (or knowledge of what products you should pick to suit your hair's needs)- After 3yrs being natural (counting from last texturizer in 2008), I am still struggling with the right products but I feel like I am closer and closer. I am half minded about Henna (supposed to be good for strengthening, thickening and conditioning). But it is so messy and time consuming. I have tried different products for washing (black soap, karen BB or curls), styling (afroveda, KKK, gels), conditioning (herbal essence, natural oils, aloe vera juice, many other brands) but my goal is to simplify, consolidate into 1 brand, and stop being a product junkie. I just tried keracare natural textures for the first time and think I may have found it! I also tried hot oil treatments for the first time twice and loved it. So now I am thinking of eliminating henna or doing henna gloss only, because of question 3, and hopefully will be able to stick with just keracare natural textures as my brand and hot oil treatments.

3. Your techniques (i.e are you happy and confident with your wash day and styling?) - No No No. I still lose a noticeable amount of hair during wash days, and even more so when I henna monthly. I think because my fine, type 4 strands are already prone to tangling and breakage, and to get henna out properly i have to wash the hair loose multiple times. I also wonder if henna is too heavy for my fine strands. Unlike others, I feel like on non-henna wash days when I put the hair in 6 loose twists, and get out of the shower and unravel the hair, there is still conditioner/shampoo within the twist unlike when i do it loose. I don't know what I am doing wrong. The best wash day I have had was last week, when I tried a hot oil tmt for the first time, but I also tried keracare natural textures cleansing cream so i don't know what helped. I still lost a little hair though. I am happy with my styling, especially twist outs.

4. Your length (are you able to maintain or gain length?)- After 3 yrs of being natural, I feel stuck in a rut. The rut of 6-8 inches, which it takes some people less than a year to achieve. Well to give myself some slack, I have had 3 major trims. The first 2 because of texturizing twice, so as my hair grew, the ends got thin. Most recent trim was August 26 'cos my ends were just so tangly, I don't think i had trimmed in more than a year. The best thing I feel i have discovered is crotchet braids, the modern kind :) as a protective style. If any of you are looking for a way to have curly extensions without sewing, gluing or tiny cornrows, youtube crotchet braids and be amazed! I hope crotcheting for my protective styles helps me retain length and not damage my edges.

I will post quarterly updates ...maybe, just to see if I am making progress.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Grant us, Father, hearts of worship
At this time of Jesus’ birth;
We would see anew His glory
Shine throughout this sin-cursed earth. —D. De Haan


I hope you guys are having a wonderful christmas days, especially those of you lucky enough to be spending it with your immediate families. As for me I am chilling here at home, will do some studying, drink some wine, talk on the phone with loved ones. I was just reflecting on how awesome xmas was when I lived in Nigeria. We would go to church in our brand new clothes, which I actually liked on that day (hated going to church as a kid) 'cos I loved the christmas songs. We would then feast at home, receive some visitors, and also find time to visit others. Frankly, i don't know how our stomachs supported all the feasting. If we happened to be in the village there would be masquerades to see and palm wine to drink. We also got simple Christmas gifts which in retrospect I think is awesome, 'cos xmas for me does not center around gifts as is the culture here. There's been all sorts of ruckus in the news about that. Fedex getting in trouble for the way gifts were being delivered, spouses contemplating divorce because the appropriate gift was not given, children being belligerent in stores.

Thankfully, that is all balanced out by news of charitable people and charitable events. Something about xmas brings out the humanity and charity of others unlike any other religious holiday. That should tell you something about the behind the scenes power of God even in those that don't believe. Makes me smile. When I think of xmas, I think of festivity with friends and loved ones. I actually can't wait to build traditions, decorate, feast with my own future family one day. Till that day comes, I will enjoy this time God has given me to have a quiet, joyful xmas where I don't have to shower or cook anything unless I want to :)

Lastly, i just want to remember the Amajor, Emengini and Oyelowo families who have tragically lost young loved ones this season. I also remember my baby's friend who is suffering from throat cancer. I hope Christmas brings renewed faith, love and hope for all these families.

Tosin

So yesterday a link was posted on the internet which is slowly but surely becoming viral:

helpbringtosinhome.com

A very scary, unfortunate sounding case. People have responded by trying to make the linkand case public. However, now this case has gotten weird.  A supposed detective ( i see no reason why he would lie) left this comment:

DETECTIVE'S COMMENT: "My name is Detective David Osborne and I’m investigating this case. We have been in constant contact with Tosin’s family regarding the investigation. They are upset about individuals making speculations and posting comments, which are simply untrue. This type of behavior does not help them through this very difficult process, nor does it help the investigation. If anyone has information they can call me personally at 843-720-2395. I will not respond to any comments."

AND THEN THE FAMILY FRIEND OLUBUNMI'S COMMENT:"My name is Olubunmi K and I am a good friend of Tosin { }. I am writing to request that you take down the post regarding Tosin. There are quite a few inaccuracies in the report, and at this very sensitive time, we are asking that everyone respect her family's wishes, including taking down this post. Thank you for your sensitivity and cooperation.
Sincerely,
Bunmi"

AM I MISSING SOMETHING? IF YOU LOOK AT AN OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF THE COMMENTS, PEOPLE HAVE NOT MADE ANY INSINUATIONS OR NEGATIVE COMMENTS OR SPECULATIONS. THE ONLY SPECULATION COULD BE: http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2011/dec/10/no-sign-found-of-reported-ravenel-bridge-jumper/ 
SINCE HER CAR WAS SUPPOSEDLY FOUND ABANDONED WITH THE KEYS IN IT, BUT NOTHING NEGATIVE WAS SAID WHEN I SAW THAT COMMENT JUST ANOTHER PLEA TO PLS FIND HER. WHETHER THE WOMAN OFF THE BRIDGE IS TOSIN OR NOT, NO ONE KNOWS AND THAT IS NOT TTHE ISSUE,  THE CRUX OF THE ISSUE IS FINDING HER!


AGAIN I SAY, THE VAST MAJORITY OF RESPONSES HAVE BEEN PRAYERS AND SUGGESTIONS AND EFFORTS TO FIND TOSIN. COMMENTS FROM FRIEND AND DETECTIVE MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY DON'T WANT US TO DO SO AND THAT IS CONFUSING THE HECK OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things that I loved today

1) This pic. These women look so lovely with their hair. I typically don't like blonde hair jobs on people of color, but oh my God the blonde afro is freaking fierce!

source: http://breegant.tumblr.com/post/8657862163/i-know-i-posted-something-from-this-shoot-but-it

2) These songs: Dbanj's Oliver grew on me; freaking love the beat. Still repeating Naeto C's Afurum gi nanya and One republic's Good Life on my playlist.

A night out

Hi peeps, so yesterday was my girl's bridal shower plus bachelorette party. The bridal shower was fun except that it was hosted by her Caucasian coworkers and we her Nigerian friends were invited. I was post call yesterday so i slept most of the day and when i woke up, hadn't eaten and was already running late to the shower. But i figured there would be food there, and apparently so did the other Nigerian guests, boy were we wrong lol. There were cup cakes, alcohol, fruit tray and chocolate covered strawberries. Some of my Nigerian friends went a little overboard making side comments like "being allergic to hunger" etc. It didn't seem like our hostess understood the snide comments thanks to the accent....at least I hope. Bridal showers are becoming my new favorite thing. Why? Because a group of women can get together to gist, have R-rated conversation, eat and best of all; play games. I love playing games and at regular parties no one wants to play games anymore like scrabble, taboo, charades et al. Interestingly, one of my friends there, she is 29 had never seen a condom. So they opened up one for her and were explaining and showing it to her and she was marveled. I couldn't help wondering if this was one of those Nigerian; "i am a good girl" acts or was she really that innocent.  Oh well.

After the shower we headed out for the bachelorette party and really that is what is prompting this blog post, because I feel like I have lost it. Lost what? I don't know, my youth or something lol. Being at the bar/dance club was just "ok". I kept feeling like I was going through the motions of trying to have fun. Maybe it was the music. I felt like only 1 out of 8 songs would actually get my adrenaline going and before I could fully enjoy it, the Djay would switch. He was one of those djays that would play most songs for like 30 secs or less and lead into another. Then of course he did that thing which 95% of djays do, where they play this string of what seems to be classic old school songs. The crowd always yells enthusiastically and everyone bursts out their old school moves, except for me. I HATE old school songs. If they want to take it back, they should play Michael Jackson. I wish I could tell you the names of the songs and you would know what I was talking about. Then there was the crowd...irritating. I got beer spilled on me, got stepped on, had some strange girl trying to dance with me maybe she thought I was gay or she was drunk, lots of people trying to have sex on the dance floor, weird smells. Plus I was still hungry, my thoughts wandered to my couch, a bottle of wine, ice cream, sushi and a good movie, and that freaked me out. Shit! Have I become old?

But honestly when I think of fun things now, dancing is still included but I like the music at salsa clubs/lounges better, traveling because I LOVE sight seeing, eating out, shows, plays, spoken word, festivals, live music, something physical like hiking or paintball and other things that I haven't tried like snorkeling, jet skiing, camping.

Happenings of the week

1) Interesting news items:
-listened to the 911 call by the Olympic skier who committed suicide. It was surreal and sad.
-Lauryn hill having a 6th child by an unknown baby daddy. She is a supposed icon of female empowerment, but to me she seems weird and damaged or maybe just an enigma.
-another young Nigerian woman possibly murdered by her husband. who poisoned Tola Spiff?
-Giorgio Armani's body at age 77 http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2011/07/goh-how-can-this-be-body-of-77-year-old.html


2) Tami Roman. One of Taynement's pet peeves is grown women/people that act retarded and I never fully grasped how annoying it could be until I watched this weeks episode of Basketball Wives. Tami just makes me want to scream!!!! She is probably in her 40s and is sooooo venomous to everyone, her daughters, strangers, friends, just so quick to pick a fight. Her 2 lows for me was when Meeka apologized and she said "yeah I heard her but this don't mean the drama between us is over" and then when she slapped Meeka at the club. Come on people! This was just worse than the childish shenanigans of the New Housewives of New Jersey and that is saying a lot. Oh yeah...i am a sucker for Reality TV :)


3) Big events. At each stage of life there are big events that are celebrated left, right and center. I remember celebrating my 10th birthday, as well as being invited to lots of 10yr old parties. Next was graduations from college. Left, right and center, everyone was graduating and celebrating. Now it's all about weddings and first babies. In fact, I called my good friend Jade this week after not talking to her for a month, and the first thing she says is "what, you are engaged?" and I was like "whoa. hi, how are you?" but then retrospectively i guess that makes sense.  So after this whole marriage, baby, age group passes, what will be the next big event? 


4) There is always some new fad out there. Some of them have been beneficial and some not so much. My newest experiment is the oil rinse face washing method. Check out http://crunchybetty.com/nitty-gritty-on-the-oil-cleansing-method and http://www.theoilcleansingmethod.com/ Now any of you who know me personally, know that I struggle with acne. Adult acne is so not cute! I was about to book an appointment with a dermatologist this week (always had one except for when i moved to bigtown, OH) when I stumbled on this article. Well, I decided there was no harm in trying. Day 1 - my biggest zit reduced in size. maybe it would have done this anyway, but at least it didn't get bigger from being clogged with oil lol. But the most notable thing for me, after just one day, is that by evening time, i thought to myself, shoot i forgot to use my oil wipes today  ( i have such oily skin that i sheen and radiate grease 2 hrs into my morning despite my cleansing and oil free Aveeno moisturizer) and this was like 7pm. So I went to the mirror and my face was not oily or sheening or dry, it just looked...normal. All I had done was, the oil rinse (used olive oil and castor) the night before, rinsed my face in the morning in the shower (no soap or cleansers), applied sunscreen, and then my bare minerals powder. Day 2  (castor and jojoba)- still no new gazillion breakouts. Big zit is essentially flat. 


5) Do you? I do. As in, yeah I have people on facebook that I want to delete but I feel I have to wait for a few weeks to pass since i just added them not too long ago. One of them is this my family friend who keeps posting what seems like 100 inane status updates. I hate when I get on my newsfeed and it's cluttered with his status updates that I don't give 2 cents about. For example: "VENEZUELA: Prez Hugo Chavez vows to stay in power till 2031. 20 years more to go............................​................You see why I was praying for him to recover from his cancer treatment. So that among the world leaders, there will be Our Hugo to keep the comedy going!!!!!!!!!!"  I really don't give a F$%*...so yeah looking fwd to when i can discretely delete him and others with their stupid statuses or people that I haven't talked to in years.  Oh yeah, that is something about me, I hate clutter. I constantly delete emails, texts, pictures, throw away clothes, documents, receipts, keepsakes.....anything that I can. I do have moments of regret, because I end up needing something and I can't find it. Like recently, I threw away my old BLS (basic life support) certification because it had expired and then when it came time to renew it, of course turned out one of the things they needed was my old certificate...lol. Thank God eventually they let me proceed without it. 


6) Thanks to the best gift ever :) I will be going to Nigeria in September after a decade and I am so excited and a little anxious. So if you guys are the praying type, please pray my trip goes well and that I actually return safely.


7) The Nigerian Blog awards are over and done with right? I ask because I saw what seemed to be results of the Nigerian Blog awards on the most random blog ever. I wondered if it was real because the winners were all people I had never heard of except for Modern African Cuisine. But it seems lots of regulars have stopped blogging, I mean where in the world is Solomon Sydelle...I miss her TTEC and kids' antics. In true declutterer fashion, this week I deleted/cleaned up my blog roll. Bye bye kpakpando, baroque, enkay, aphrodite and all my fav old bloggers. Solomon sydelle, Geebee, Kate, Jade, still giving you guys a chance....lol. Thank you regular bloggers like Taynement, GNG, lucidlitlith, sofull sistah. Thanks to the awards I added Ms Chutzpah's blog and can't wait to delve in.


Have a great weekend.

A perfect day

What would the components of a perfect regular day be for you?

Mine would comprise of:

-waking up after noon
-long hot shower
-cooperative hair
-perfect dump in the toilet while reading a good novel (gross i know :))
-my favorite meals
-compliments
-buying something i wanted without worrying about the money spent
-long soulful discussion with the one i love
-a good movie or my favorite TV show
-touching someone's life positively
-going to bed late

I was going to choose a topic from that 30 day challenge thing that Sting started. Was it sting or stand? lol. Anyways, I got sidetracked by daydreaming of a perfect day, so next time.